We all have “buttons” just waiting to be pushed. What we often don’t realize is that we want them pushed. When our “buttons get pushed,” it allows us to unleash our defenses and lay claim to our unique individual identity.
Unfortunately, we don’t realize that our defenses do what they defend! Some of our buttons lie on the surface, while others lay deeply hidden and waiting for that special day to reveal themselves. Once pushed, our buttons confirm our own limitations and fears as we demonstrate that we can be hurt. A victim/victimizer relationship is thus established. Whether as an individual self, group or nation, a retaliatory attack becomes justified. Big or small, short or long-lived, an enemy is made, war ensues, and fear is maintained.
From pet peeves to rants and raves, buttons come in many shapes and sizes, but they all have a few things in common. They all uphold a false sense of self. When a button is pushed, the unconscious message is, “I don’t know who I am, but I am not that!” This is one of the many ways the ego or false self is maintained.
What is a pet peeve but a button waiting to be pushed? We don’t realize it, but while our buttons make us special, they also keep us limited and small. They uphold the ego, which will always be hurt or offended. In truth, you cannot be hurt or offended without your own permission.
Does this mean we avoid taking necessary and appropriate action when the call arises? Absolutely not. The key is to notice if something inside must be defended. If so, your button has been pushed—and that’s okay. It’s normal. The first step is simply to become aware of your reaction, without judgment so you can use it to evolve. The practice is to learn to see the button’s underlying purpose to keep you limited.
The second step is to learn that you do have a higher choice in how you handle the event. Do you respond objectively or react with fear? Can you change your demand to a gentle preference? Can you maintain your position without upset and attack? The answer is yes. The real question is, would you rather be right or happy?
Life is the path. You don’t need someone to tell you what to do. Your buttons are your teachers. Look at your political requirements, your hates, your peeves, and your expectations of the people and the world around you. Start with the “small buttons,” and generalize it to the “bigger buttons.” Practice depressing your buttons in advance. This is called forgiveness. For…giveness. The prefix, “for” means “in advance.” “Giveness” is another name for unconditional love. It will set you free.
Knowing you will have countless events ahead of you that will potentially push your buttons, play out the ego’s game and forgive them before they arrive. Depress them so no one and no thing can press them down the road. When you slip and attack, it’s yet another opportunity to practice. You will go from buttons pushed to buttons already depressed to no buttons at all.
Ah…true Self revealed.
